2001-11-30/ i had the chance.

sigh. i don't have to tell anyone how very tired i am. i've told you so many times. but. noone really... dear god, i will now sing the song 'noone understands me'. but. really. noone around me understands when i say, "i've lived too long."

i. just. want to lay my head in my arms and never have to lift it again. i was nearly happy last year when we were driving to the hospital. that is, when i could think at all. i would be concious for a moment and look out at the bare trees against the sky and think, oh, how pretty that is. i was cold and i had a bottle of disgusting city water and i nearly left. i nearly left.

8:12 p.m. E
kat*~