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eljay
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2002-06-29/ in which she dreams of liquor and once again mentions the staring.


i bought a fountain drink at dairy queen yesterday (diet pepsi... do fast food chains know of no other diet drinks other than pepsi and vile coke?) and it tasted very off. i figure that it was too much plain soda water, not enough syrup. i drank the thing anyway, and last night dreamt that it was not too much soda water, but that instead of water, they had put vodka in it.
this morning, remembering it, my dream overlapped my memory, and so i thought for a tiny instant that i had bought diet pepsi syrup infused vodka from a dairy queen.

as if.

oh! my mother bought me the neatest old-ish doll with a porcelain face, hands, and feet, and a music box in its back! and it's so lovely, even if one of the feet is broken. i can fix it! i will make her into the doll i envision when listening to gingerbread coffin by raspy. oh, yay, what fun dolls are!

and as always with anything, i am stalling the making of my zim doll. because. well, once you've put the eyes on someone, they will stare at you. i shall never, never stop mentioning this, because one just cannot get it out of one's head when one has so many little pairs of eyes fixed on her.

10:05 p.m. E
kat*~

2002-06-28/ goddamn this noise inside my head!


if i had batteries in my camera, i would take an adorably horrid picture of my overabundance of eyeliner right now. yum! eyeliner be tasty.

now go viddy the new meathead perspective or i'll have your ass served on a platter. yay!

6:22 p.m. E
kat*~

2002-06-28/ angst? where? what?


i read the diaries of other as if they were stories; it's funny. i know they're true (at least i trust that they are true) but it's almost as if... they're not.
i guess i don't want to believe. hee. everyone else does things, has friends, lives somewhere that they can describe, has at least one person to love who loves them.

i know. i've got my mother. and one day i will have friends; i shouldn't complain.

it's just that my life seems very empty compared to the lives of others. others describe actual events in their lives, relationships, hijinks. me, i go to my job, work hard, come home and play with my dolls and read comic books. and get fat. hee. and i write nothing in this journal. nothing at all. it's just silly shrieking nonsense that i try to amuse myself (and possibly you) with. the only 'events' that i put down here are the occasions when i buy things. tee.

maybe it's me that isn't real.

12:30 a.m. E
kat*~





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