07/14/2004/ oh yoshimi. they don't believe me.

when this happens, i have many strange, long, complicated dreams, most of which just segue into each other like some arthouse movie.

i can�t remember quite a bit of this one � i�d be a blithering idiot if i remembered the entirety of all my dreams � but the longest chapter revolved around the fact that my bones were sitting on the surface of my skin. my clavicle, sternum, and spine were suddenly all visible on my chest and belly, as if they were some prosthetic for a costume. a few bony protuberances from my sternum curled up my chest and belly and around my breasts, making the whole thing seem like a piece of armour. my spine was just dangling over my belly like a chain. my skin was attached to the sides of all the bones visible except the spine, as if my flesh had simply melted off the surface of them and stopped there.

i was a bit worried by this, of course.

i went to my mother in a tizzy and told her about my bones coming out of my body. how was i standing? was this something normal? what could i do?

mum told me not to worry, this was just something that happens to all twenty-one year olds.

i was still worried. i even went so far as to take off my shirt(if you knew me in person, you�d know that it bothers me to even show the skin of my upper arms, so this was major.) to show her how my bones were just sitting there, dry and somehow bleached white. she insisted that this was just a normal part of everyday life, and probably explained my intense backaches. a person�s back would have to ache if one had to constantly strain one�s muscles just to keep everything together.

i started to worry about having to go to the hospital for an operation to put my bones back in. i realized that this would take a lot of money and i most likely would not be able to come to moosecon, as we would of course not have been able to afford the whole mess.

and then, all of a sudden, my bones were back inside me. this freaked me out even more and i shouted to my mother again. she just shrugged it off as normal.

and on and on until i woke up at four with icepicks jammed into my neck and shoulders. for a short while i was still convinced that i would not be able to pay for the airplane tickets to san antonio.

i love the human subconscious.

1:49 p.m.
kat*~