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2001-11-15/ uh, waiter; yes, i'd like the pierced breast of lex, please.


mothah fuckah! so yesterday was lorvely lorx's beautiful birthday. and i still haven't sent her a katpackage because i am a big smelly hobo what smells like something big and smelly.

i will now borrow an exclamation from my mother: CRACKhead!

you might think i am tremeDNously lazy, and of course you would be right in thinking so, but wAIt until you see the doll i have been slaving over for the past few days. you will love her so much your eyes will burst out of your skull and crack the screen of your monitor. truly. me not lie.

and keeping in this vein, i will now read to you my favorite comic, because i am devoid of the energy required to scan a one panel thingie.
(imagine me sitting in an overstuffed wingback chair, smoking jacket on, pipe in hand, glasses on nose.)

-oh god!
-SHUT UP! you're here for a reason!! serve your purpose!!
-but i didn't do anyth...
-SHUT UP!! i've some questions for you. you will answer truthfully!! you lie... and i cut your filthy throat.
is this milk still good?!!
-huh?! *ssip..sip* uh... yeah.
-this lettuce! how crisp is it? HOW CRISP GODDAMMIT?!
-it's fine!
-these fudge-pops! freezer burn?! FREEZER BURN?!
-umm...
-EAT THE FUCKIN' WEENIE!!!
-mmph... it tastes okay.
-whew! thanks. i haven't cleaned my fridge out in a while, and, well... you know.
**waves from the door**

11:59 p.m. E
kat*~





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