2/9/03/ count the many times that i say FUCK in this entry.

ohhhh gahhhhhd. want to be in atlanta. want to be dead. want something OTHER than this pathetic existence... jesusfuck am i bored. this place is draining my creativity. FUCK! SHIT! and other such expletives. thus i have completed my jhonen reference quota for the day.

i feel so fucking ill. if i were a parent, dear god banish the THOUGHT, i would not force my twenty year old child to eat something that the child has assured me would make them sick. would you? FUCKIHATEHIM

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this diary has just become my anger. i'm sorry. i can't be angry anywhere else. i wish i could scream scream scream scream so fucking frustrated i want to DESTROY but people would get offended, and then i would be even MORE miserable, because i'm stuck in the same fucking house with them and i can't get OUT i want OUT holy SHIT this is killing me. people and their shit on top of my life, drowning me and crushing my ribcage, people at fucking TECH SCHOOL forcing me further back and back into my shell (if a person sits under the stairs, in the dark, drawing and listening to music, head down, do you think that person WANTS you to talk to them? NO FUCK NO) i want to puke i want to scream i want to cry i want to hurt myself so i can focus on the pain instead of this fucking sea of depression and disappointment and anticlimacticism and oh GOD.

end the fucking thing.

10:32 p.m. E
kat*~